Subject:  How to get to Heaven from Scotland

I was testing children in my Glasgow Sunday 
School class to see  if they understood the 
Concept of getting into heaven.

I asked them,  
"If I sold my house and my 
Car, had a big jumble sale and gave all my 
Money to the church, would that get me  
Into heaven?"

the  children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed 
The garden and kept everything tidy, would 
That get me into  heaven?"

Again, the  answer was 

By now I was starting to smile.

"Well, then,  if I was kind to animals and 
Gave sweeties to all the children, and 
Loved my husband,  would that get me 
Into  heaven?"

Again, they all answered 

I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, 
"Then how can I get into  heaven?" 

Little Johnny shouted,
     "Yuv got tae be dead"

Kinda brings a wee tear tae your  eye...

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Little Johnny and the Royal Wedding

Little Johnny and his mother were two of the lucky few who were invited to the Royal Wedding of Prince William and Kate Middleton.

Attending a wedding for the first time, Little Johnny whispered to his mother,
‘Why is the Kate Middleton dressed in white?”
The mother replied, ‘Because white is the colour of happiness and today is the happiest day of her life.’

Little Johnny thought about this for a moment then said, ‘So why is Prince William wearing black?’

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